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You Don’t Love Someone Until…

You don’t love someone until you know their weaknesses and still love them the same. We can all love a person when he or she does the kinds of things we love and agree with. But what happens when they don’t do what we want? When working with the poor or orphaned and vulnerable children, odds are they will do things that you don’t like. So, how do we react? 

Our reaction to people when they do the things we don’t like tells how much we love them. If we quit or stay away from the friendship because we’ve discovered a wrong belief, habit, or position that the other person holds, it tells us that we really loved what they did but didn’t love the people themselves.

Of course, I do not mean that if we are in abusive relationships, we should not leave. I’m not talking about abuse here.

As a leader, you will experience what I’m talking about frequently. You influence other people. Sometimes, your weaknesses may impact them in a way that they perceive as negative without you even knowing it. Sometimes, a weakness that isn’t real but only perceived  as a weakness by a subordinate will impact them negatively. Perception is reality to them.

Because you are a leader, those under you read into everything you do. They may feel threatened by your weakness and interpret that as an intentional attempt to harm them when it’s simply a weakness that you may not even be aware of. The devil is a master at magnifying these illusions in people’s heads. Sometimes, people will quit on you because of those perceived weaknesses.

We must learn to acknowledge that, pray for growth when necessary and  know that we are human and there is nothing we can do to make ourselves perfect and likable by everyone.

There is something that we can do that can help the situation. Be open to those around us about your weaknesses. Tell them the bad things others have brought up in us and genuinely show them where we are struggling and ask them to pray for us. We should never fake this. We must be honest and sincere and be serious about growing and improving. We can’t simply acknowledge our weaknesses that annoy, irritate or hurt others without making an effort to grow in those areas. If we don’t grow, the people we are working with will lose hope and feel that they are condemned and consigned to forever suffer the effects of that weakness.

The people we work with have weaknesses. We truly love them when we know the worst about them and still love them. Yet, there are weaknesses that a person may have that the rightful and loving response would be to dismiss them lovingly and part ways with them because their weakness is hurting others in very significant ways. Even when we must part ways, we must do that in a true spirit of love. We must remember, no harm can befall us if God doesn’t permit it to.

“The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

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  1. Great post, and great reminder to love the way Christ has asked us to love one another.

  2. So good and so needed… We are to love others as Christ has loved us – He loved us in our sinful state & right into salvation & He is loving us through our struggles. I believe that is the same unconditional love we are to have for one another especially our leaders. Thank you for sharing this

  3. What a wonderful message. Reading it made me realize that in spirit we all are orphans. What makes a person truly am orphan is lack of love and support.